It began when I answered an ad seeking extremely knowledgable Star Trek fans for a focus group. The return e-mail address listed on the ad said 'paramount.com', so it seemed legitimate enough. I do consider myself to be pretty knowledgeable about Star Trek given my history with the franchise and since I didn't have a better offer that Thursday night, I thought it would be fun.

When I arrived at the focus group location, which was to take place at a building in Burbank that was near the studios, and filled with entertainment companies, I was taken upstairs where there were three guys already waiting there. One of the focus group-runners came out and told us we were waiting for two more guys, so I realized I was the only female in this particular group (not unusual odds in science fiction fandom). I'd been told on the phone when they contacted me that they were holding two focus groups on this night. Of the three guys, one sat quietly in the corner and I'll admit, I didn't pay much attention to him as the other two guys engaged me in Trek-related conversation. But obviously the one in the corner was listening...

The other two guys we were waiting for finally arrived and we were led into the focus group room. Now, I've done focus groups before (not Trek-related) and the way they are set up, there's someone related to whatever product being marketed to the group watching the group from either behind a two-way mirror or on a hidden camera. Since there were both obvious two-way mirrors set up and a camera on a tripod, I wasn't sure which way we were being watched, but I assumed both.

There were name-places set out along the table and we were told to take our places. I wound up towards the far end of the table.

After a moment, a man in a suit entered, faced us and said he was a Paramount Television executive in charge of Star Trek series. I think I even had a twinge at that moment as I didn't recognize him - this is not saying much as I hadn't worked at Paramount in several years, but something was off about him -- he seemed just a little too slick for an executive. The girl who had greeted the participants initially also sat down in the room with us with a clipboard to take notes on.

The executive said he wanted to get a sense of what the fans thought of the franchise in general -- what they liked and didn't like, what worked and didn't work. But before we got started, he said he had a surprise for us -- how would we like a Star Trek actor to join us for the discussion? At the same time one of the guys yelled out "Kirk?!"', I asked without thinking "Connor?" Can you tell who the TVGroupie's favorite on Enterprise is?

But instead, in walked...

Ethan Phillips (aka Neelix from Star Trek: Voyager). Okay, Ethan's a nice guy, though he wasn't the actor I was hoping for. It was a good thing that it wasn't one of the actors who I knew well or that probably would have blown the whole thing immediately. But I'd only met Ethan once or twice before and I didn't think he'd remember me and I didn't bother to remind him who I was as I was really there to see what the focus group was about.

I'd spent time during the week prior to the focus group wondering what Paramount would want to know from its fans. It had to be about Enterprise, I decided, as they only wanted an hour of our time, so it wasn't likely to be a surprise Star Trek: Nemesis screening. It could have been about merchandising, but since they asked for people who knew everything about Star Trek, I was guessing it was going to be about how Enterprise fit in continuity-wise.

I'd had some worries that when I got there, Star Trek executive producers Rick Berman or Brannon Braga would be behind the two-way mirror and ask that I leave if they didn't consider me an objective 'fan'. But no, once Ethan joined us, the group began.

We were asked the basic questions -- favorite series, fave Star Trek moment, favorite Star Trek character, favorite Star Trek captain, how Star Trek affected our lives. For the first few moments, I was an enthusiastic participant. Except two things very quickly bothered me...

First, the moderator/executive didn't seem to really care if all of us answered the question or even finished our answers, which didn't seem very focus group-like to me. But second, and more annoying, the guy on the other end of the table (thank goodness!)... the one who'd been so quiet when we were waiting outside in the lobby, suddenly began to talk. Loudly. And ignorantly. "Roddenberry? Who's Gene Roddenberry? Have you met her?" "My favorite alien was Awhora." Uhura? "Yeah, Awhora." Uhura was a human. "No, she was an alien, with the weird nose and ears." No, she was human, people tried to argue.

And it went downhill from there!

I knew within two of this guy's comments that he wasn't for real. Granted he looked like a stereotypical science fiction fan (NO OFFENSE INTENDED to all the fans out there, myself included!), but not only did he not even pretend to know anything about Star Trek -- and we'd supposedly been screened as 'experts' - he made continually more and more blatantly outlandish statements with my favorite culminating in his claim that Ethan/Neelix played a gay horse on Voyager -- you've got to have been there, but oh, Lord! And he kept calling the character FELIX instead of Neelix!

Even knowing that the guy wasn't for real, I couldn't figure out his game at first. Then the guy next to me leaned over and whispered "he's a plant" (meaning he'd been planted to stir up the group). But my suspicions continued to grow as I'd never experienced a focus group where they put a distractor in -- they usually want to get all of your opinion's worth out of you in the time alotted that they can. And really frustratingly, the moderator/executive would cut off other people speaking to let this weird guy talk.

Now, after having answered (or tried to) about three questions, I saw the game being played (though I still wasn't sure of the players) as the other guys in the focus group -- the real participants -- tried to talk over or ignore the weird guy. They leaned over to each other whispering "This guy is nuts!" But by that time, with the moderator/executive clearly favoring the lunatic and Ethan trying to gently and politely correct the guy every time he made a blatantly stupid comment, I knew something was up and I wasn't going to play.

I kept telling myself "I will not engage" and immediately quieted down, avoided eye contact and tried to ignore the stupid comments coming from down at the other end of the table. Seeing me disengage and shut down, the weird guy immediately started targeting me with his comments "Women who like Star Trek are easy. They're called Star Trek Sluts. Women who know everything about Deep Space Nine are easy." I know I rolled my eyes as all heads turned to look at me and without thinking I put my hand up in a 'not going to talk to you' gesture, but I did not look at him. So he backed off and tried to pick off the easier targets since I wouldn't play...

He really was doing everything he could to anger the focus group participants (including me), but as I continued to watch the players, I knew the game was afoot.

For one thing, Ethan was just being too nice. I mean, I know how patient the actors are used to being in a convention or fannish situation where they are used to being asked for the 4,999th time what their favorite Star Trek episode is but Ethan just had this completely innocent look on his face as he earnestly tried to correct the weird guy.

And that set off my radar, too. My understanding of Ethan is that he's a bit more rambunctious and not so restrained as he seemed to be 'playing', but again, maybe he was just trying to be a professional. No, I decided, I didn't buy it.

In fact, as I quickly tuned out every single time weird guy would talk, I needed something to distract me as I was going to lose my temper eventually. Not because I was angry that the weird guy didn't know Star Trek which was clearly what he was trying to provoke us about, but because I knew there was a game going on and I didn't like being played!

Fortunately, they'd placed a blank pad of paper in front of each of us at the beginning of the group. What better way for me to pass the time than write down my thoughts? And what was the first thought I wrote down? In the words of one of my favorite Buffy the Vampire Slayer characters: "Bored now." 24 times. And after that I continued to write my thoughts including "That guy (the weird one) is a bad actor. Ethan is a good actor." "I do not like Howard Stern type plants in this group. Why is he here?" "Why am I missing Survivor for this?"

Meanwhile, even the guy next to me who thought the weird guy was a plant was engaging him. All of the poor guys kept trying to correct him, ignore him, outshout him, but the moderator and Ethan kept responding to him.

Finally, despite the fact that we were specifically told the group was not to pitch ideas, weird guy started telling the moderator/executive what the next Star Trek series should be. And the moderator/executive loved it! And the focus group guys vehemently disagreed. Now since I'd actually tuned out, I hadn't even heard what the guy had suggested. I just heard the angry and frustrated responses. But I wasn't going to engage. I kept thinking to myself, "do not engage!"

After the atrocious idea (whatever it was) was presented and the subsequent roar of angry responses, the moderator then escorted the weird guy out of the room for a few moments.

I wondered, was that it? While we waited, Ethan tried to draw everyone out in conversation about the weird guy: "boy, that guy really didn't seem to know much about Star Trek". And the poor focus group guys were just so involved that they got very animated about this weird guy being a nutcase. I stayed disengaged, writing my commentary on the pad in front of me. By this time, my comments were along the lines of 'if this is a practical joke, I will sue' and 'if this is a practical joke that is televised, I will sue' - I was very annoyed that I was wasting an hour on this idiocy!

The moderator/executive soon returned with the weird guy (to everyone's dismay) and some really wild news (to everyone's grief and my extreme amusement -- now the game was getting fun!).

The weird guy returned to his seat and the moderator/executive again quizzed the focus group guys on their response to the weird guy's idea (they still hated it). When he asked me my opinion, I looked up from my notepad and said "sorry, I zoned, what was the question?" What did I think of 'Leon' (weird guy's) idea for a new Star Trek series set in the 1980's with no aliens and no makeup. No wonder the guys had yelled! But while it was so clear to me that this was all a joke, I was just annoyed everyone was falling for it and I wanted it to be done. So I looked at the moderator/executive and said "Oh, are you looking for new ideas for Star Trek series?" He sort of stumbled over that one and then said "Why, yes, we are." So I said, "Great, because I've got plenty of ideas." And gave him as knowing a look as I could -- the game is up with me, buddy, don't even try to get me to play! He quickly turned back to the guys who were still in rage mode, which quickly turned to chaos mode when he announced that personally, he LOVED Leon's 80's idea. In fact he loved it so much, he'd just taken Leon outside to get on the phone with Rick Berman himself, who also LOVED the idea and in fact is going to bring Leon in to develop it!

Over the outraged cries of the fanboys "That IS NOT STAR TREK! No makeup! The 80's! Where's the metaphor? The spaceships?" At that point, my eyes were rolling so far back in my head they came round the other way! I was trying hard not to laugh, too, because it was so clearly ridiculous!

The guys angrily tried to convince the 'executive' to change his mind. But the executive was trying to poll us, asking, "So who's onboard for this idea, raise your hands!" And when no one raised their hands (I was only vaguely paying attention), he started to quiz each of us individually. Of course all the guys said "NO!" But at this point, I realized ala Star Trek: The Next Generation's Captain Picard, that "Sometimes, Number One, you simply have to bow to the absurd".

So I did...

And when he came to me to poll, he asked "_______, are you onboard with this idea?"

So with my face cracking a big grin (despite my trying to keep a straight face), I said "Oh, ABSOLUTELY! I LOVE IT! I think it's a great idea!"

And the fanboys turned to me, stunned, as I tried desperately to pretend to be serious.

As an aside, by this point, I wrote in big letters on the notepad in front of me "(Ethan's nickname), I hope you are getting well paid for this!" I was getting ready to turn my pad to show Ethan this comment, but I was finally getting to play the game, and I was starting to have fun and held off showing him the note.

The moderator and 'Leon' (suddenly stunningly much more coherent than he'd been during the rest of the hour) looked at me oddly and both said "I don't know that you're serious about this. I don't think you really mean that."

By this time, I'd controlled my giggling and with as straight a face as I could manage (though I'm sure some sarcasm slipped through in my tone), I protested "Oh, no! I think it's a great idea! It's my time, my era! I can totally relate to it!"

The focus group guys were shocked.

I continued, "Besides, there are already two new shows on this season set in high school in the 80's (his idea was teenagers in the 1980's as Star Trek), so obviously that's a popular theme with audiences!" At which point both the executive and 'Leon' knew that they were going to have to let me play along. So 'Leon' smiled and ran with it, saying "Yeah, see?" to the focus group guys. Who were still stunned.

The moderator/executive then asked, "So what what do you think we should call the new series?"

And before 'Leon' could answer, I piped up with...

"STAR TREK: THE MALL YEARS"

Okay, that got a bit of a laugh around the table, but the guys still didn't know what was going on. Poor things! But by then I was having fun! And before 'Leon' could get his punchline in, I added "And you could have cameos by Duran Duran and Boy George!" Oh, I was determined to make up for an hour of being annoyed by amusing myself! But finally I shut up with my 'ideas' for the new series and let the moderator/executive feed 'Leon' his line: "So what do YOU think we should call the series?"

And 'Leon' said "Star Trek: The X Generation"! And I burst into hysterical laughter, yelling "That's great!" I loved it! Really!

And 'Leon' looked at me, grinning and said "Do you know why it's called that? Because YOU'VE BEEN X'D!!!!" And the whole crew of the Jamie Kennedy Experiment (a candid camera kind of show) entered the room. The focus group guys were relieved and embarassed and seemed to take the joke well, all saying they were completely fooled by 'Leon' aka Jamie Kennedy. He came over to me and gave me a hug! He said I was great and wanted to know when I'd figured it out. When I told him I knew something was up early on, several of the other crew and Ethan came over to find out how and what I'd figured out.

I pointed out what clued me in and also pointed out a slip Ethan had made when 'Leon' had left the room -- he'd briefly, accidentally referred to the weird guy as 'Jamie' then tried to refer again to "Leon or whatever his name was" -- I didn't consciously make the Jamie Kennedy connection at that point, but I definitely knew that 'Leon' was an actor and Ethan was in on it!

I also showed Jamie and Ethan and the crew the notes I'd been writing throughout the hour and they loved them! They asked to keep the notes so they could film them. Jamie particularly liked my comments 'Bored now.' and 'I don't like Howard Stern type plants in groups'.

Afterward, they hustled us out of the room as they had another group coming in in a few minutes and they needed to reset the room. One of the crew ran over to grab my notes to make sure they had them.

Ethan and Jamie followed us out talking about how great a group we'd been. Ethan continued to ask me how I'd figured him out and I told him he was being too nice to 'Leon', plus the "Jamie" slip. He was a real doll and very sweet about my feedback on his 'performance'.

We all then were given paperwork to sign and Jamie stayed to pose with all of us for a group shot Polaroid picture for each of us which I thought was very cool of him. A crewmember gave us each a Star Trek goodie bag filled with a shirt, a Star Trek action figure and a baseball cap that said "I've been X'd!" For the shirt, one of the girls asked me if I wanted black or blue and when she showed me the shirt options - black with Enterprise on it or blue original Star Trek short sleeve shirt with the science emblem - I picked the blue one. Hey, nothing against Enterprise (and I would have liked that shirt, too), but at heart, I kick it Old School!

The action figure I got was supposedly a limited edition one from Paramount -- it's an Away Team Phlox (okay, he's my other favorite character on Enterprise after Connor Trinneer's Trip Tucker). But hey, shouldn't that be 'Landing Party Phlox' now that I think about it? The original Star Trek had 'landing parties', not 'away teams'!

I also learned that there had also been a 'focus group' before us which didn't work as one person had immediately recognized Jamie which blew the whole setup. Depending on which was funnier, they told us they might air our group, or they might air the group that went after ours. Though I'd at least felt somewhat vindicated that I'd figured out what was going on early on, I decided it would be fine with me if I wasn't on TV for an hour rolling my eyes (a couple of the crew afterwards said I looked really annoyed through the whole hour)! Though I was very glad I was dressed nicely if I had to be on TV!

Afterwards, on retelling this story, someone asked if the people I knew at the Star Trek franchise had set me up in this situation. I said, no, it turned out to be a random prank. Whereas many episodes of the Jamie Kennedy Experiment are set up by people to trick people they know, this one was completely random. The showrunners placed an ad for the focus group on a local bbs that constantly seeks participants for focus groups - but usually ones like 'if you bought a new car in the last 3 months' or 'if you shop for groceries in zip codes...', etc. When I saw an ad looking for knowledgeable Star Trek fans, I knew I had to try to infiltrate it! But honestly, if it had been a real focus group and Brannon Braga or Rick Berman would have been there, they probably wouldn't have had me participate as I am a former employee and they might consider that to affect the 'random sampling' aspect of a focus group. The JKX folks did know my history with the franchise, so if it had been a real focus group that had wanted to exclude me because of my connection to the franchise, they could have.

I did talk to the guys in the lobby about my background before the focus group started (when we were discussing our various Star Trek 'expertise'), but it didn't come up during the focus group part itself, so I don't know if that early bit of us just talking in the lobby was on camera or not.

At any rate, on Thursday, April 17th, the WB will finally be airing the "Star Trek focus group episode". Whether it will be my group or not, I guess I'll find out when it airs. It was quite an experience. But hopefully, at the very least, it made for a good story. And did I mention that hug from Jamie?